Richard Perry and Jane Fonda Do It Up Modern

BUYERS: Richard Perry (and Jane Fonda)
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $7,300,000
SIZE: 7,513 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama gets loads of emails and phone calls from all-kinda folks who want know who bought what, where and for how much. Over the last few months we've received an unexpected and unusual number of queries about the real estate activities of later-in-life lovebirds Richard Perry and Jane Fonda.

Mister Perry is an accomplished music producer of the highest magnitude with more than a dozen gold records and a slew of A-grade credits with superstars like Rod Stewart, Carly Simon, Diana Ross, the divine Martha Reeves, Babs herself, Percy Faith, the Pointer Sisters, Leo Sayer, Donna Summer, Neil Diamond and Andy Williams, to name just a handful or two. Miz Fonda is, natch, the Jane Fonda, the snappy, smart and sassy two-time Oscar winning actress/activist/aerobics instructor once, best and still known in many circles as the campy but preposterously sexy Barbarella and/or the political lightening rod Hanoi Jane.

The queries began almost immediately after our June 2012 (dis and) discussion of the celebrity pedigreed Sunset Strip home Mister Perry then owned, unofficially but openly shared with Miz Fonda and had up for sale for nearly $13 million. Finally for the curious, there's an answer via the long-legged gal at Trulia Luxe Living. Mister Perry and Miz Fonda have decamped the lower Sunset Strip for the stylishly au courant Trousdale Estates 'hood at the very eastern edge of Beverly Hills (CA). Property records show the gated and completely renovated residence was actually acquired by Mister Perry at the tail end of June 2012 for $7,300,000.*

Listing information still available on the internets shows the original residence was built in 1961, had not been on the market in 44 years and had been the long-time home of a "legendary TV & film director." That Tinseltown legend turns out to have been recently deceased and wildly prolific three-time Emmy winner John Rich. Although Mister Rich worked regularly well into the late 1990 he started out way back in the middle 50s (I Married Joan, Where's Raymond). His Showbiz Salad Days were, arguably, the early 1960s to the early 1980s when he directed and/or produced numerous episodes of a long list of iconic sitcoms and westerns that include The Dick Van Dyke Show, Bonanza, Gunsmoke, the Brady Bunch, That Girl, All in the Family and Benson.

Anyhoo, listing information goes on to indicate the spacious and re-conceived mid-century modern has four bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms in 7,513 square feet.

The jagged, angular exterior opens to an airy, multi-level interior with long expanses of crisp white walls, vaulted and beamed ceilings, glass-railed staircases and long ribbons of windows and sliding doors. In addition to some of the more (melo)dramatic flourishes such as an all-glass elevator, the house is chock full of fancy-pants eco-friendly features such as bamboo floors, photovoltaic solar panels, three ventless bio-ethanol fueled fireplaces and double-glazed thermal windows with motorized shades.

The foyer flows into a reception lounge large enough to accommodate a baby grand piano. A short but wide set of steps descends into the formal living room proper that's anchored by a sturdy stacked stone fireplace and visually open to the outdoors through a towering wall of windows that extend from the knees to the ceiling.

The open-concept dining room and kitchen has a second (bio fuel) fireplace exotically set into a wall of glass that allows the fire to be seen and enjoyed both inside and outside. It's an undeniably extraordinary and architecturally arresting visual feature, a real-live, more is more WOW! moment. Howevuh, not that it matters a lick and just between us chickens here, Your Mama thinks that fireplace conceit is a bit too too, you know? Especially in a residence that already has a glass-walled elevator.

Anyhoo, the expensively equipped kitchen and adjoining butler's pantry orbits around a massive center island with lowered snack counter. The streamlined but still organic-minded kitchen has all the expected upscale finishes and swank accoutrement that includes what may or may not be walnut cabinetry, mossy green quartz counter tops, top-quality commercial style appliances and a flat screen t.v. that lifts up out of the counter top at the touch of a button.**

The master suite includes a walled sunken sitting room with another one of those (bio fuel) fireplaces set into a wall of glass—once really is enough when it comes to a showstopper like this—and a pair of large bathrooms with steam showers, soaking tubs and radiant heated floors. There's also at least one to-die-for-sized walk-in closet with icky tan wall-to-wall carpeting, walls lined with miles of hanging racks and a nipple-high built-in dresser stuck smack in the center of the room.

A separate lower-level media/game room, accessible via a glass-railed stairway or that painstakingly engineered glass-elevator, has cork floors and plenty of space for a pool table, television/movie viewing lounge, and a booze-hound's dream bar with sink, dishwasher, ice maker and under-counter wine fridge.

Multiple outdoor living areas include a couple of dining decks directly off the kitchen that overlook the swimming pool, a serene side terrace with stone fountain and a lounging nook set high enough in a concrete wall as to be difficult to climb into without a stepping stool and a flat grassy pad with outdoor fireplace and views that extend down the canyons and across the city.

A deep overhang shades the lower level rooms and runs around two sides of the dark bottomed rectangular swimming pool. Sunbathing terraces run along either side of the pool, away from the house to a slightly raised deck that pushes out over the canyon.

Back in late June (2012), right about the time Mister Perry closed on his and Miz Fonda's new love nest in Trousdale Estates, Your Mama discussed the much more traditional mini-mansion in the lower Sunset Strip area that Mister Perry owned and and had on the open market with an idealistic but ultimately unrealistic $12,750,000 price tag. The asking price for the 5 bedroom and 8 bathroom knoll-top house, originally built for Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman, eventually plunged to $10,000,000 before a somewhat mysterious corporate entity came along and purchased the property for $8,500,000.

Miz Fonda, who may or may not still maintain a one bedroom and 1.5 bathroom rental apartment at the star-studded Sierra Towers building, also long-maintained a 4,764 square foot multi-unit combination penthouse in Atlanta, GA that she unsuccessfully  first attempted to sell for $4,500,000 in May 2010. By June 2012 the asking price had crashed to just $1,195,000. As far as we can tell, the penthouse has yet to sell but does not appear to currently be listed for sale on the open market.

*Miz Fonda's name does not appear on any of the property records documents we peeped but that does not mean she does not have some sort of stake in the place.

**It could be a press of a button that causes the t.v. to rise up out of the counter top but it could also be a flip of the switch or the swipe of a hand-held touch screen or some other action our caffeine starved brain can't even conceive right now.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker / Beverly Hills South

Emma and Andrew Shack Up in Beverly Hills

BUYERS: Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $2,500,000
SIZE: 3,862 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thank to the always informative Lucy Spillerguts, young and faux ginger-tressed actress Emma Stone and her slender, half-English man-beau/Spiderman co-star Andrew Garfield (The Social Network, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus) recently dropped $2,500,000 on a Beverly Hills, CA residence once owned by deceased English actor Dudley Moore.*

Miss Stone, a teen aged thespian now in her mid-20s, got her big Showbiz break in 2007 when Judd Apatow suggested she dye her blond hair red for the high-grossing comedy movie Superbad.** Since then Miss Stone has landed a lot of plum roles in star making movies like the Spiderman franchise, Crazy, Stupid, Love and The Help. The increasingly in-demand actress has almost half a dozen more potentially high-profile projects lined up including another Spidy movie with her live-in boyfriend, Gangster Squad with the idiosyncratically bewitching Ryan Gosling and Movie 43, the upcoming cameo driven rom-com in which half of Tinseltown shows up including Gerard Butler, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Naomi Watts, Richard Gere and Uma Thurman just to name a few. Make no mistake, chickens, this wholesome-seeming starlet has arrived and Your Mama expects she will quickly earn herself a proper Hollywood fortune, a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and a few more industry accolades and statuettes to add to the Teen Choice, Screen Actors Guild, Satellite and People's Choice awards she already has.

The 1.5 story, flagstone-faced traditional/ranch residence, located on a wee, leafy lane up in twisty and sometimes traffic-choked Coldwater Canyon, sits low and private behind electronic driveway gates and a thick, skin-shredding bougainvillea hedge. Listing information we enticed up out of the interweb shows there are a total of four bedrooms and .5 bathrooms in 3,862 square feet, according to listing information and the L.A. County Tax Man.
Dark, high gloss wood floors in the double-wide entrance hall continue into the voluminous, step-down living room with vaulted wood ceiling, partially paneled walls washed with crisp white paint, a massive white brick fireplace, clerestory windows, and a full wall of French doors that open to a concrete and red brick courtyard terrace at the back of the house. Double glass doors in the living room open to a temperature controlled walk-in wine closet with custom-built, floor-to-ceiling bottle racks.

The adjoining formal dining room also has a bank of French doors that connect to the backyard entertainment spaces and also opens over a high serving counter to a galley-style kitchen finished with wood beams on the ceiling, white tile on the counter tops and a wide window over the vintage—or vintage-style—stainless steel sink and marvelous, built-in drainboard. Just off the kitchen there's a spacious laundry room with slop sink, a convenient pantry space and a sunny breakfast room with raised fireplace.

One of the four bedrooms has a private pooper and might be used as a guest bedroom or domestic quarters and the other two guest/family bedrooms share a Jack-and-Jill bathroom. The master suite offers a third, marble-faced fireplace and backyard access through more French doors. The renovated master bathroom has sepia-colored stone tile floors, an extra-long double sink vanity, an over-sized soaking tub with garden view and a separate glass-enclosed shower plenty big enough for two.

An L-shaped, flexi-use space tucked up into the attic on the second floor is fully finished with dark wood floors, an exposed post and beam ceiling and a long row of six-pane windows with tree top views.

Red brick terracing surrounds the heated, rectangular swimming pool—as does one of the most clunky and more hideous examples of a child safety barrier we've ever seen—and a slightly raised deck at one end is partially covered by a sun-bleached pavilion used by the non-celeb sellers as an outdoor dining space.

Miss Stone and Mister Garfield have been reported in the interweb to also share an apartment in New York City but Your Mama knows about as much about that as we know about the mathematical calculations required to understand the motions in the ocean.

*Property records don't make at all clear if this house was purchased by Miss Stone separately or with Mister Garfield. For the sake of our gossipy discussion, let's just say she bought it and that Mister Garfield—as he alluded recently on the Ellen—lives there with her.

**Don't belive Superbad was an honest to goodness hit? Tell that to the relatively low $20 million budget and the $169+ million in global revenues.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Beverly Hills South

Tuesday Tidbit: Usher

Oh dear.  Divorce can be so ugly.

Word on the celebrity real estate street—via the long-legged gal at Trulia Luxe Living—is that R&B superstar Usher wants to evict his ex-wife, Tameka, from the Roswell, GA mansion they shared before they bitterly divorced. He retained ownership of the lavishly equipped mansion, so the story goes, and now that he's heaved on the market with an asking price of $3,200,000 ex-Missus Usher will need to find another house to call home.

The 12,544 square foot red brick behemoth, according to listing information we perused, sits on about four an a quarter acres and has eight bedrooms, eight full and three half bathrooms, four fireplaces, a double-height foyer, formal and informal living areas, chef-friendly center island kitchen, massive master suite, fitness room and a fully-outfitted beauty parlor with shampoo sink and pedicure station.

The house happens to be in the same gated development where the Larry "Chipper" Jones family lived in an approximately14,000 square foot mansion until he and his missus split and he went an bought a six bedroom bachelor pad nearby.

We're not certain exactly where in the Atlanta area Usher shacks up but we do know that he still owns a 7,762 square foot residence in Alpharetta that he bought way back in late 2008 for $1,200,000.

listing photos: The Robinson Realty Group

Tuesday Tidbit: David Hasselhoff

The (David) Hasselhoff homestead in Encino, CA was recently re-listed with a $3,795,000 price tag. This is not the first time at the rodeo for hairy-chested Mister Hasselhoff and his second ex-wife Pamela who acquired the 8,947 square foot Colonial mansion in 1996 for $1,980,000 from actor John Goodman.

The erstwhile couple parted ways years ago and first quietly shopped and then officially listed the 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom residence—and it's two detached guest houses, swimming pool complex and tennis court—in late summer 2008 with a fat asking price of $5,950,000. By August 2009 the price had plummeted to a still optimistic $4,195,000.

As noted by the kids at Curbed ex-Missus Hasselhoff downsized to a 3,400 square foot hillside contemporary in the Hollywood Manor neighborhood that she bought in early 2009 for $1.3 million unsuccessfully attempted to unload in late 2010 with an asking price of $1,499,000.

listing photos: The Agency

James Franco Put Down Property Roots in L.A.

BUYER: James Franco
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $775,000
SIZE: 1,496 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.75 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to well-connected canary with whom we're peripherally acquainted—let's call her Dimitri Dishdiscloser—Your Mama learned that the famously dilettantish actor/artist/author/auteur James Franco has put down some fairly modest real estate roots in Los Angeles, CA where he recently dropped $775,000 on a fixer-upper mini-compound in the hipster-sheek neighborhood of Silver Lake.

In the early Aughts, after a short turn on the short-lived Freaks and Geeks t.v. program, the rather fetching if not always clean looking Mister Franco achieved a modicum of mainstream notoriety as the brooding title character in the made for television biopic James Dean. Numerous high profile roles on the silver screen soon followed (the Spiderman franchise, City by the Sea, Nights of Rodanthe, Pineapple Express and Milk to name a paltry few) and in the last few years, along with a hefty handful of smaller roles, he starred in Howl and 127 Hours—for which he received an Oscar nomination—and maintains a recurring role on the daytime soap story General Hospital.

As if he wasn't quite busy or successful enough with his acting career, several few years ago—amid much booing, hissing and poo-pooing by some who felt he used his celebrity to curry favor and gain access—Mister Franco decided to get himself a proper liberal arts education. He quickly earned a BFA from UCLA, then schlepped east where he somehow managed to simultaneously enroll in—and complete—four concurrent masters programs: Columbia and Brooklyn College for English, NYU for film and Warren Wilson College in North Carolina for poetry. With four MFAs under his belt he's now working toward a trio of PhDs from three separtate academic institutions (Yale, Rhode Island School of Design and the University of Houston) and next spring he's scheduled co-teach a film production class at USC. 

As academically oriented and arty farty as Mister Franco appears to have become the last few years, he's hardly forsaken his Hollywood paychecks. According to his lengthy resume on the Internet Movie Data Base, the idiosyncratic actor remains in high demand with at least a dozen projects in the hopper that include the Sam Raimi-directed Oz: The Great and Powerful and the star-studded Paul Haggis-directed dramatic-comedy The Third Person with Mila Kunis, Liam Neeson, Olivia Wilde, Adrien Brody, Kim Basinger, Maria Bello, Casey Affleck and more. Anyhoo...

Property records we peeped show Mister Franco—who may or may not be dating actress Ashely Benson (Pretty Little Liars)—purchased the property in August (2012) using the same trust he previously used to acquire at least two other long ago sold residences in Los Angeles. A bit more on those in a minute.

Property records also reveal Mister Franco bought the two-unit mini-compound from fast-rising Tinseltown costume designer Katherine Jane "Janie" Bryant who won an Emmy for her work on the boob-toob program Deadwood in 2007. For the last five years Miz Bryant's done up the costumes for Mad Men, a job that's earned her two more Emmy nominations and spurred a widespread sartorial retro-style revolution of floral frocks, pinched waists, skinny ties and slim-fitting trousers. Interestingly enough, according to property records, Miz Bryant—along with a man-friend/mate—purchased the house in 2002 from musician/filmmaker and fashion world heiress Tatiana von Fürstenberg.

Don't ask us how she knows it but Dimitri told Your Mama peripatetic Mister Franco has plans to fix up the quirky but kinda dumpy two-unit mini-compound where he's currently shacked up with his long-time b.f.f and producing partner Vince Jolivette. We don't really know who sleeps where—nor is it any of our beeswax—but for the sake of simplicity let's just assume Mister Franco occupies the larger but still fairly compact 2 bedroom and 1.75 bathroom main house—marketing materials show it has 1,496 square feet—and Mister Jolivette the smaller, mostly detached one bedroom and one bathroom unit.

Listing information from the the time of the purchase shows well-worn saltillo tile floors run throughout the lower level of the upper unit—the main house—that includes a narrow dining room with French door access to up sloping backyard  and an equally narrow living room with wood beamed ceiling. The kitchen, open to the living room over a stool-height breakfast bar, has cheap-looking white cabinets, butcher block counter tops, and medium-grade stainless steel appliances.

Original wood floors that have seen their better days run throughout the second floor of the upper residence that includes a "master" bedroom with massive brick fireplace, a wee window-lined study/sitting room that may or may not be the second bedroom, a haphazard dressing room and a hall bathroom that looks fairly recently renovated with white subway tile in the shower/tub and a perfectly ordinary Home Despot-style pedestal sink.

An arched wood door in the "master" bedroom opens to a charming covered veranda with canyon views. A staircase connects the veranda to a window-wrapped room with squalid-looking wall-to-wall carpeting and downright mortifying salmon colored walls. Miz Bryant appears to have utilized the aerie as a cluttered office space where her Emmy statuette and other accolades sit prominently but carelessly on a cheap looking shelf above her desk.

The lower unit—perfectly suitable for use as a rental, home office, guest quarters or etc.—sits hard up on but well above the street and includes another claustrophobically skinny living room with a wood floors and direct access to a private balcony. There's also an itty-bitty bedroom, a renovated bathroom with black and white tile, a short corridor with built-in dresser and an eat-in kitchen with original built-in cabinetry, not very much counter space and low-grade appliances.

Outdoor lounging and entertaining spaces include a good-sized paver-tile terrace atop a two-car car port at the front of the property and several more—ahem—rustic, dirt-floored "terraces" that climb up the slope at the rear of the property.

Although Mister Franco has lived primarily in New York City the last few years—we think they may have occupied a third floor walk up rental on the Lower East Side but we can't be sure—this is not his first property acquisition in Los Angeles. In May 2003 he dropped $1,165,000 on a multi-story, mock-Med architectural abomination in a semi-secluded canyon in Studio City that he sold in April 2006 for $1,525,000. The following month (May 2006) he upgraded to a 1923 Tuscan-villa directly across the street from the Chateau Marmont. He paid, according to property records, $2,325,000 for the approximately 4,000 square foot house that he extensively renovated and put back on the market in fall 2009 with an asking price of $3,695,000. The three bedroom and three bathroom house sold the following February (2010) for $3,300,000.

listing photos: Keller Williams / Larchmont

New Promo Video Released for Casa Casuarina

Your Mama has just received a friendly missive from a New York-based public relations lady who thoughtfully let us know that The Jills released a jazzy, 2.5 minute long promotional video for Casa Casuarina, the extravagant former Miami Beach (FL) mansion of deceased Italian fashion designer and sartorial icon Gianni Versace.*

The glitzy and garish but—come on! —still fabulously dressed, 23,000 square foot Mediterranean mansion, located across the street from the beach on bustling and often loud Ocean Drive in South Beach, was put up for sale earlier this year with a too-sunny $125,000,000 asking price. Today, according to the missive from the N.Y. P.R. lady, the price tag for the 10 bedroom and 11 bathroom behemoth plummeted by 20% to $100,000,000.**

The children will recall that Mister Versace was brutally gunned down by that creep Andrew Cunanan in July 1997 on the front steps of this very mansion as he returned home from his morning jaunt to News Cafe a few blocks to the south, a place we too appreciate and occasionally patronize. His heirs and estate executors sold the sumptuous—and some might say meretricious—mansion in September 2000 for $19,000,000 to self-promoting telecom tycoon Peter Loftin.

The fastidiously maintained 1930s Mediterranean stands three floors above street level and is privately oriented around a flamboyantly embellished central courtyard with a 54-foot long mosaic-tiled swimming pool. Inside Mister Loftin has retained much if not all of Mister Versace's famously and cacophonously colorful and deliberately decadent day-core.

We're not sure of the specifics but Mister Loftin apparently faces—or faced—foreclosure on the property.*** Several years ago Mister Loftin leased the property to big time event designer Barton G. Weiss who reportedly has 6 or years remaining on a 10 year lease with an option to up for another ten. Mister Weiss operates the premises as The Villa By Barton G. a super-luxe restaurant, swank event space and 10-suite boutique hotel where rack rates we dug up online start at well over $1,000 per night.

In the promotional video one of The Jills rather brazenly suggests the next owner can access "instant celebrity" status—if they want it—simply by dropping a hundred million deuces on this globally renown residence where tourists still stop and snap pictures of themselves standing on the very spot where Mister Versace bled to death.

We really couldn't say how long this supposed celebrity status might last for the next owner but Your Mama is pretty dang sure that if bajillionaire comes along and snaps this place up to use as a crash pad/party pad for a few weeks or weekends a year The Jills can be assured that all us property gossips all around the world will wag our tongues about it for a few days, maybe a week. Maybe two.

Oh! Look at that! We're already doing it now.

*The Jills are a couple of high-powered and internationally recognized real estate brokers in Miami who are both named Jill and who work together under the Coldwell Banker umbrella.

**The P.R. lady in New York did not, of course, make use of the word plummet in any form or tense.

***We're not sure of the exact status of the reported foreclosure process.

Jeff Lewis: Still Flipping Out

SELLER Jeff Lewis
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,450,000
SIZE: 2,368 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: On the currently airing sixth season of the reality program Flipping Out, sometimes temperamental house flipper and sassy-pants Bravolebrity Jeff Lewis bought a 1940s traditional on Spring Oak Drive in Los Angeles, CA without telling his much younger and punctiliously primped live-in man-friend—and employee—Gage Edward who at least acted for the cameras as if he were none too pleased with the behind-his-back acquisition.*

Property records show the Spring Oak Drive domicile, located on narrow cul-de-sac in the Bronson Canyon area of Los Angeles, was acquired by Mister Lewis—and only Mister Lewis—in April (2012) for $1,350,000. Yesterday—sixth months and an extensive and expensive renovation later—the property is back on the open market with an only slightly higher asking price of $1,450,000.

Current listing information shows the stucco-sided house—set hard up on the narrow street like many houses in the canyons that twist up out of the L.A. and now painted an au courant shade of cement—has three bedrooms and three bathrooms in 2,368 square feet of fully renovated and systems-upgraded interior space. The house sits atop a tight but coveted by canyon dwellers street level two-car garage.

The open plan main living/dining/cooking space has putty-colored walls set off against gleaming white trim work, milk chocolate hued hardwood floors and a thick cluster of quasi-masculine chocolate brown leather sofas and armchairs. Both the bay window in the living area and the double bank of French doors that open to a Juliet balcony in the dining area have a minor city view broken—as seen on recent episodes of Flipping Out—by an unfortunate, eye-level lace of telephone wires and power lines. There's also a surprising amount of track lighting.

The Shaker style cabinets in the center island kitchen appear in listing photographs to be two shades darker than the walls and the slab counter tops—of unknown material—several more shades darker yet. The well-equipped has two sinks, a four-burner commercial-style range and convenient access to the backyard.

The master bedroom—the brown and beige and a little bit blue one—has an all-new attached bathroom with his and his sinks, a sizable soaking tub and a separate glassed-in shower stall.** There's also, according to listing information, a "walk in diva closet"—a term that, quite frankly, makes Your Mama squirm with discomfort at our fragile core. A hall bathroom is shared by two more bedrooms including what we think is Zoila's bedroom, the one with denim-colored walls, direct backyard access and a deep brown faux-fur blanket draped over the end of the bed. The last bedroom, with French doored access to a hedged patio on the front-side of the house, was used by Misters Lewis and Edward and office space.

Also used as office space is a spacious lower level area with separate side entrance, custom-built floor-to-ceiling storage cabinets—dee-voon!—and a large room with gray walls, gray wall to wall carpeting, white trimwork and a chunky brick fireplace that Mister Lewis doused in high gloss black paint. Listing information suggest this might make a nice media room and it probably would.

Just as he did with the house, Mister Lewis waved his house flipping wand over the terraced outdoor living areas that include a spacious concrete patio that wraps around the back of the house with separate dining area and lounging areas. A wide, gated stairway climbs up to the next level where there's a newly installed swimming pool and sunbathing terrace. A few more steps on either end of the pool curve up to a narrow but flat and grassy are and elevated spa with lovely if hardly spectacular view over Bronson Canyon.

Presumably Misters Lewis and Edward—and Zoila too—have finally moved to their big new house in Los Feliz , bought July 2011 for $1,625,000, where there may or may not soon be the and incessant wailing of a small child to go along with the onslaught of barbs and jabs for which Mister Lewis has become (in)famous.

*A little back story for those who don't watch the program: Mister Edward has made it clear he wants to make babies with Mister Lewis and was—so the story line went—under the impression they would move from their cramped West Hollywood rental to a much larger, family-sized house in the Los Feliz area that they were in the process of renovating at significant effort and expense. 

Besides Mister Lewis buying a million dollar plus house without consulting him, Mister Edward's primary concern with the Spring Oak residence was that it's simply not large enough to accommodate three full-time human residents (Misters Lewis and Edward and house maid Zoila), five pets (three dogs and two cats), two part-time domestic workers (Lupe and Nancy) and three full-time employees of Mister Lewis' design firm (Jenni, Vanina and that hot mess Andrew) plus a baby and—presumably—a live-in nanny because you know these two busy, high-maintenance queens will get a live-in nanny.

**Question for Mister Lewis: Why not a steam-equipped shower here? Do you not care for them? Too costly to install and maintain? Just curious because if Your Mama and The Dr. Cooter had your dough—and we don't—we'd most certainly have a steam situation in the master bedroom.

***We've never actually heard that. Just a a little, harmless literary license. 

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty